Rainy Day

Rainy days can have their perks:
1. Lay around and watch old movies all day (weekends)
2. You dont have to water your garden!
3. The sound of the rain makes you wanna take a nap!
4. Thunderstorms are exciting!

Today is one of those rainy days, minus all the perks...however, I wont be watering my garden! Last nights events sparked an awful ugly feeling in me. It happens occasionally. Every has days when they get down, but dont worry about me the yuckies are on their way out the door, because I am already feeling much better! Monday night was awesome I really enjoy Monday nights alone with Aaden. This is not to say that I dont enjoy other nights, but Mondays seem to be our special nights when we can do our own thing and bond or whatever. Spending time with him on Monday really made me feel great! Then came Tuesday. Im sure girlfriends and even steparents feel this way often, im also sure that this is a normal feeling. I really hate to get personal, but it helps to write and get it all out. First let me interest you in my opinions and beliefs on the current situation I am in.
1. My boyfriend has a son. I am totally fine with that- I wouldnt change it for anything.
2. I love this little boy, however I have no interest in replacing his mother, he already has a good mom. Also I do not believe "taking over" is what steparents/girlfriends should ever do to a child.
3. I feel it is important to establish a relationship with him. I mean we all live together part time anyways. This also implies letting him know what your role in his life is (i.e. No I dont want youre dad to be my dad too.)
4. Discipline. This seems to be a biggy. I let him know what is acceptable. When he does well I praise him, when he does not, he gets punished.

With the above being said, there is defintely a lot of gray areas in these types of relationships. I have often times felt like an "outsider" Im not implying that I am jealous or any of that. I somewhat understand the parent-child bond, I say somewhat because I do not have any biological children of my own at this time. I would never want to interfere with any parent and child. Their history and relationship has existed longer than mine with either of them.
Basically what im yapping about is that my feelings sometimes get hurt when Im left out. I know this is not done intentionally. I often wish roles were reversed so that my feelings could be felt by them. Its hard and takes a lot of work.
The bottom line is, I may get my feelings hurt, but I may never know the other side of the story, how the boy really feels. I will continue doing what I have been because I feel that I am doing the right thing and thats the way I would want to be treated. I love that little boy!